Sunday, March 15, 2009

What a blessing without my "blessing (?)"


So why is Jan vacuuming the floor?

In South Africa many women are blessed (?) with an "ousie" (sister), i.e. a domestic assistant/ house cleaner, servant - call her what you may. I have had a full time "Ousie" for the past 25 years. In Kempton Park, we had a darling woman who spoke very little Afrikaans (and no English), but she had a heart of gold. She was always friendly, reliable and very hard working. In those days I had a play group and every day, she washed lots of paint pots, and two big sliding doors besides doing all the washing and cleaning up after my own brood. Her attitude was so positive and she was so pleasant.

...And then 12 years ago we moved to the farm and appointed X. Why X? Because her mother worked for my mother and she just happened to be on the farm...

She was also hard working and reliable (at least she always turned up for work, albeit half an hour late, despite living on the farm.) In those days our little hovel (it wasn't really a house, house), had cement floors and she polished them till they shone - not that I had ever asked her to go on her hands and knees to do that! (We had since renovated and the house has ceramic tiles or carpet throughout.) She could scrub a tacky until it was as white as new.

But there was always this "vibe" - I always felt as if I tread on eggs when she was around. She was very quick to complain and I found it very hard to confront her.

She mostly worked completely on her own as I worked very long hours. I very seldom saw her, and communicated through notes. (Her reading is limited, but she usually understood my notes or otherwise phoned me.) The times I did see her and wanted to talk about work that was either not done or poorly done she yelled at me that I caused her stress and gave her high blood etc. She sometimes even walked away while I was still talking to her! She often threatened that she would leave - knowing that I could not easily get another. Then she would return and continue as if nothing had happened and I lacked the courage to raise the matter again. However, the negative attitude became worse and her work became more and more sloppy - in the third week of February, I wanted her to tell me what her work schedule was (she obviously did not stick to mine). I just wanted to know where and when she worked and what she did, because some days I just could not see what she had done all day and I wanted to know what my pills were doing in the waste paper basket.... It ended in another accusation of me causing her "high blood" and that she was going to leave (f... off!)! I had never given her a written warning (which of course I should have done), but now I just knew I could never go into "retirement" (its around the corner would you believe) with her in the house.

We therefore decided to reconstruct, so we gave her a month's notice (paid leave) and the end of which she will get several months pay plus all accumulated leave will be paid out. (It will cost a bundle I can tell you...!) I no longer come home to a clean house with heaps of ironed clothes every day, but I come home to peace and FREEDOM! I can do in my own house as I please! I never realised how much she inhibited me. True, I am not used to housework, but I am getting used to it again and Jan and I once again spend Saturdays cleaning the house - pretty much the way we used to when we were newly weds and young parents.

One of my first jobs was to sort out the cleaning materials: what a collection of half used Mr Mins and empty furniture oil bottles - slowly but surely everything in this house is getting sorted out and suddenly there is space in the cupboard. The liberating thought is that my cupboards will stay fairly organised!!

Same story in every bathroom: several bottles of Handy Andy and Jik - all almost empty. Funny thing is how long my dishwashing liquid lasts now. The last week before X left, I bought a new one and by the end of the week it was 1/2. Now two weeks later, it is just below half...! I no longer have to hide my Nespray.

Jan does a thorough job! He even vacuumed on the top of my built in cupboard!

The curtain once more has got all its hooks!

This is how X left the corner on my kitchen counter top - making it very hard to get going with the cooking.

The same corner after I had rearranged things the way I want them. (My food processor tells a story about my age doesn't it?)

My towels are folded reasonably -why did I live with a mess all these years? The bathroom door got clean with one swipe of handy andy, the dustbin lid is as clean as one can get it... Why did I leave these little irritations for X all these years?! Now that they are my job, I realise it is not so bad to just do it!

A clean drawer: The first weekend was spent just unpacking cupboards to make sure there are no nasty creepy crawlies. I had found a cockroach just after she had left and then unpacked the whole kitchen and went wild with insecticide, but fortunately I have not seen another unmentionable. It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good: now at least most of my cupboards are tidy - the big grocery cupboard and the freezers are still waiting for their turn.

We have a few precious antique pieces - when I polished them, I realised again just what a big job they were. Where can one find an electric polisher that can get into all the little curls? I'm looking at my electric toothbrush, but the head is in the wrong place. Surely there must be an electic furniture and copper and silver polisher? If you know of such a contraption, please let me know! (Mr Min and Pledge just do not get the wood shiny - sorry X I thought it was you ... but on the other hand why did you not lift the cushions to polish there? The very thick layer of dust tells another story...)

Dear God, please be with X and help her to find a job (and peace and good health) and help me to be a Proverb 31 wife! Thank you for our house and please bless it - even though the windows are not shining (yet).

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dit klink amper soos hier by my. Sarah praat net Engels, en ek en sy kommunikeer ook met briefies en via manlief. Ek sukkel om haar te verstaan aangesien sy moeilik Engels praat en ek nog half doof ook is.

Sy vat ook lekker kanse. In die oggend 12h00 loop sy al ... en ek betaal haar 'n voldag loon.

Sterkte vir julle en die skoonmaak sessies!

retha said...

Ek dink mense met die tipe bediendes is te goed vir hul. "Africans" kan verstaan en dinge doen wanneer dit hul pas. Hul is baie manupileerend, die 'onderdrukker' gaan steeds gebuk onder daardie aanklag en probeer vergoed maar meeste an die tyd word hul net misbruik.
My man se altyd; mense moet nie 'African' aanstel as bediendes nie. Hul besteel mens en is gewoonlik die oorsaak van misdaad in jou huis of omgewing.
ek se ook sterke met die werk, soos jy reeds se jy sal meer en meer die voordeel sien van self werk.

Dorette said...

Is trots op julle dat julle uiteindelik stopgesit het aan die geboelie!

(En ek weet genoeg van die situasie om te weet hoe moeilik dit vir julle was, en dat hierdie geensins 'n "alle bediendes is sleg" tipe ding is nie. Ras was beslis nie 'n oorweging in die moeilike besluit wat julle moes neem nie)

Sterkte met die skoonmaak!

Jan and Miekie said...

Dankie vir die verstaan julle!
Ek moes net stoom afblaas, maar hoop dis die einde van die storie. Hulle goed is nog hier in die kamer, maar hulle bly nie meer hier nie. Ek hoop nie daar gaan enige verdere onaangenaamhede wees nie. Sy moet nog haar bankbesonderhede vir ons laat kry.

Desire Fourie said...

Hi Miekie. So bly jy voel nou bevry en geniet dit half om self jou paleis te orden saam met manlief ... 'n tweede wittebrood is altyd welkom. 'n Skoon huis beteken vir my ook 'n skoon siel.

Op 'n ander noot ... ek wil graag vir jou die template vir geskenkboksie email, maar het nie jou emailadres nie. Kan jy dit asb vir my email (my email link is op my blog in die side bar). Mooi bly.

Sandra said...

Bietjie laat met die comment - maar ek's bly jy voel weer "vry" in jou eie huis.

Jan and Miekie said...

Hi Desire
Wat moet ek doen om die sidebar van jou blog te sien? Sien dit nie.

Hi Sandra
Die vryheid is salig ja!

Lynne said...

Oh Miek, I just loved your post! It was hilarious! Could just imagine some of the happenings at your place! Isn't it funny how we sometimes put up with things and then a light bulb moment changes it all! Love your blog!!